The Sandbox

A group of mothers/fathers meet at the park with their little ones. They place their children on the grass directly in front of them, allowing them to play with the other children. The keep a watchful eye and call out to the children here and there as needed, making sure they know they are there. The children are happy to be with each other and are laughing and sharing their toys.

After a time of playing, the children spot a sandbox a little further away in the park. With gleeful looks exchanged, they agree to wander off to the sandbox where they will not be directly under the watchful gaze of their parents.

Now the parents are busy talking together and more at ease after having watched their children play together for a time. One by one the children make their way to the sandbox to join the others, separating themselves from the safety and loving attention of their mother/father. They want to try “playing on their own”.

Within a short time in the sandbox, some of the children start throwing sand at the other children and they begin to fight. Some of them start to cry and some are afraid and start frantically looking around for their parents to come save them. The parents are still talking together. A few of the parents had noticed them over in the sandbox and decided to allow them this independence while still keeping an eye on them.

The tranquil peaceful playfulness is now replaced by selfishness, crying and fear.

The parents can see them from where they are sitting. They love their children unconditionally, and know that their children will make their way back to them.

FEAR...Our Biggest Obstacle

One of the biggest challenges you’ll go through on the path is overcoming fear. Particularly fear of the unknown. I have taken several leaps of faith in the past few years and I can say that All is Well. But things will not go exactly as you think they will. It’s not bad or good, just not what you thought.

There are certain leaps of faith that have been easier for me to take. What seems easier for one may not seem so easy for another. For instance, I have left the security of a job with no other monies coming in. More than once. Most people would say that’s a crazy thing to do. But some of us believe it’s crazy to stay tied to something that is not congruent with your soul, just to get a paycheck. I understand that many of us have responsibilities beyond ourselves that keep us there…kids, financial obligations, etc. Believe me, I do get it. But let me see if I can explain something that my guides told me.

When we repeat patterns and we stay in the same paradigm (whatever that might be), we are in essence driving and controlling the situation. Now, Source is always lining things up for us with the best possible outcome. When we interrupt this flow of what is being lined up by taking the wheel and taking that job, or starting that relationship, we get in the way of what was in store for us. I know it’s really hard to wait and go with the flow. It’s close to impossible to be okay with not knowing what is next. Fear is always our biggest obstacle. But if you can master the fear and ego, rather than letting them master you, you will see the beauty unfold.

A great analogy is that of walking into a pitch dark space with only a flashlight. You turn on the flashlight and you can see what is visible within that ray of light. This is what we can see in our now reality. But then the lights turn on and it’s a huge space with all other possibilities that you could not see. This is where our trust in the Universe, in our higher self, comes in.

Something we all need to be careful of is Magical Thinking. I struggle with this sometimes. Discerning what is faith and allowing, and what is magical thinking. Source would never advise to just “quit your job”. We all have created the situations we are in and the repercussions that come from past decisions. But when you wake up, you can start to co-create along with the Universe, improving the situations you are in, and begin creating a new life. This will look very different to each person. Maybe you can’t physically change things but you can change your perspective…how you look at things. Everything is here to help us grow…for our soul to stretch and evolve.

During the height of my Dark Night of the Soul, I experienced immense darkness and fear. It permeated me, went everywhere with me. It was a sensation that encompassed me. I had never felt this depth of fear before. To me, this is when the dark gets exposed to the light. We have been living with our fear and our ego running the show. When this gets exposed its an overwhelming experience. I’m sure many of you have experienced this and know what I mean.

Until we wake up, fear is in every decision in tons of different ways. We fear what someone will think of us, we fear that someone will get the better of us, we fear embarrassment, we fear losing control, we fear outcomes, we fear getting sick, we fear getting older, we fear people dying, we fear not being able to get another job, we fear not being able to make money, we fear not being in a relationship, we fear being alone, we fear our neighbors, we fear being taken advantage of, we fear success, we fear failure, we fear being loved, we fear not being loved, we fear intimacy, we fear not having power, we fear using our power.

This fear comes from all the conditioning. Years and lifetimes of conditioning. Being told by others who we are, how things work, what we “have” to do, what we should be afraid of.

I’m not saying to go hogwild. This is a process, a journey. The big secret key is to go inside and consult your higher self, your guidance…the “unseen forces”. It is all within us. I know it can be hard to sit and just be. We are a society of doers. And I will also say that as important as listening to your own guidance is, don’t put pressure on yourself. You are being guided by your soul and when you are ready you will be ready. Don’t compare yourself to others. We are all in this together, and we are all helping each other by doing our own healing and our own work within a timeframe that is meant for us.

Even as our consciousness expands, we are all still going to deal with human life challenges. Again, this is all part of soul growth. But as you expand, things become a little easier to manage. You will find yourself not getting as riled up and going right in to fear. You will observe what is happening, consult your guidance and see how it unfolds. My guides also told me “stop reaching for what isn’t there, tackle things as they come.” We will all have enough to manage without creating stories and what if’s. Stay present, stay in the now moment.

Remember, you are not alone and don’t be hard on yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so they say. The hardest thing you’ll ever do is untangle yourself from this matrix. But the pain is in the gain. Keep at it and know that your spiritual team is with you always and always at work for you. One of the first things I heard my guides say when I started meditating was “step aside”. Get out of your own way. Allow the process to unfold.